Sentaku no Kodoku
by Kuyugen
Summary: Ten rules for dealing with loneliness. Pride and self-delusion.


**Sentaku no Kodoku **

_-Isolation by Choice_

Ten rules for another way of dealing with loneliness that Naruto might have found.

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**1. Stand up straight.**

Posture is important. There are other outcasts here, and they are all meek and talentless and quiet. You will not be like them. The world has not deserted you, you have deserted the world. Repeat. And believe.

Stand tall, stand proud, and look the rest of the world in the eye and show them that you do not care about them.

Slouching is for the defeated.

And you must never be defeated in what is important.

**2. Answer when asked, and never speak in any other situation.**

And always answer correctly. Loudmouthing is for the attention-hungry, being absolutely silent for the frightened. Answering incorrectly when asked is being a fool.

Never hesitate to admit that you do not know or that you are wrong. If you allow a wrong answer to become a defeat to yourself and not a chance to answer better next time...

It must not happen.

**3. Observe- just in case someone....**

Remember- you don't care. But you don't care about not being alone, either. If someone... just in case... approaches you for a reason other than picking a fight or using you... do not hesitate long to respond in an amicable manner. And never be blind to these signs, that there might be someone coming to relieve you of the weight on your shoulders and stiff spine.

But never become reliant, never take other people for granted, always keep an eye out for betrayal or dishonesty. People near you must be like bracelets, hanging away from your heart and able to be unfastened and fastened according to need and situation.

Do not think of companionship as salvation, or you will start thinking of solitude as prison. This is important. Solitude is a choice, and companionship an alternative you may take if you please.

**4. Never allow yourself to be fazed.**

Becoming fazed is human, and to become human is to invite all the things about being a normal person that is reprehensible.

To be unfazed, know things beforehand. Become observant, and predict.

To be unfazed, learn to adjust- as one would with a petty marble game- if a marble spins away into an unexpected direction, shift your strategy to suit it, and be on alert for more anomalies.

To be unfazed, most important, you must not care. It is easy not to care, because it has already happened.

**5. Live for something unrelated to people.**

Live for the blue sky or the beauty of chakra when it lances out from your fingers _just like that_ or the haphazard way paint settled over the canvas when you flick your brush at it... but never live for that occasional glint of amazement or approval in a sensei's eyes, or the grudging acknowledgement in the Uchiha's face when he stares at you perform a perfect technique... or Sakura's half-jealous, half-awed twist of mouth when you get full marks on another petty test and she does not.

Don't care about them. What you care about is physics, and chakra, and art and music and genjutsu, not the peals of laughter that erupt from the other side of the playground, when you are stolidly sitting, spine straight, face unmoving. They are ephemeral ghosts in this world where there are greater, eternal things... rules, beauty...

But don't ever let yourself fully realize that you are an ephemeral ghost, too, and those infinite things you cannot do more than learn only, and never be loved by.

**6. _Excel_.**

This is an important thing. The difference between being a pathetic lonely kid and something that has shed mortal needs.

Excel.

Chakra theory. Ninjutsu. Genjutsu. Taijutsu. Never stop for anything, never be distracted. _Excel_. Then no one will laugh at you, no one will dare act against you. They will hate you, they will fear you, and you will never be loved. But they will hate and fear you for something you have under your control. And that is perhaps the best you can hope for.

Climb to the top, where you can be alone by right and choice, not because you're crushed under someone's boot.

**7. Sensible clothes.**

Don't draw attention. Clothes are important. Shades of brown, gray, and dark blue are the best. And most of all, remember: you wear them because you like them, because they're comfortable and strategic.

Clothes show what you are, whether or not you like it. And the message you want sent to everyone else is that you're quiet, confident, and good at what you do, although it's better to show that last bit yourself.

Stay away from the height of fashion. Fashions come and go, but you are unchanged and unchanging.

And always strong. Never forget.

**8. Always look busy.**

An occupied person isn't alone. Lonely people have that look about them, a sort of desperate searching glint in their eyes. Someone who is reading or drawing or writing something is wrapped up in his own world. Untouchable. Obviously a choice to be alone, not an unavoidable alternative.

Being busy means that you don't have time for other people.

Being busy means that there are things more important than other people.

Being busy means that something matters to you... that you have.

**9. Be the first or last to leave a place.**

There is little that is more awkward than walking through a crowded hallway with no one beside you. Or meeting the eyes of someone coming towards you who you are familiar with, who has a posse while you do not. It is a silly thing, but nonetheless....

Somehow, it's harder to walk proud when it's so much more obvious that you don't have a fellow pair of footsteps echoing beside yours....

**10. There is no solace.**

Do not face away from that fact. You are alone. Choice or not, ability or not, you are alone.

Don't justify yourself.

Don't create imaginary friends or even wistfully think about what might have been if you had friends. If you start down that path, someday you'll feel stupid enough to talk to someone, try to _make friends_... and you'll have to go through that bitter disappointment and self-hatred that you've done something wrong when they act so obviously unfriendly.

It'll just turn into a vicious cycle.

It's damn hard. But hell, you're going to be dignified as you walk through it all.

Keep that in mind, and never, ever, _hope_.


End file.
